Yeah, Ok....

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 05:10:26 GMT

Sometimes beauty makes me miserable for the simple reason that it wasn't I who created it.

Vote!

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 05:08:35 GMT

Vote in the primary Tuesday!

That's all, bitches!!

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 21:17:57 GMT

Livejournal is soooo late 90's.

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 22:04:00 GMT

I quit smoking. Had my last cigarette at 2am Saturday night, and that's that. It's really really fucking bad for you, and I decided I didn't want to mess with it anymore. Still, the cravings kind of suck. But it is only my second smoke free day -- it only gets easier.

Money is getting better at work.

The band is great. We added a second guitarist, and everything sounds great.

God I want a cigarette.

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Mon, 07 Aug 2006 00:48:25 GMT

I just got back from Jeff's bayhouse, where I was all weekend. Sand, sun, salt water, boats, burgers, beer. There were about 15-20 of us. It rocked. The end.

(I don't like livejournal so much anymore...)

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 01:34:25 GMT

My out-of-nowhere sunflower is being eaten by ants. I don't expect it to last much longer.

Friend's only.

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Fri, 19 May 2006 07:13:30 GMT

Unless you're lucky enough to grace my friend's list, you're only reading one out of every 10-15 or so journal entries that I write, and you're definitely not getting any significant dirt, and well, you never will. I learned my lesson a long time ago, which is why my secrets go either into the ear of my boyfriend, into the ear of my best friend, or in another place that is entirely locked away. I know some people just go crazy when they don't have a life to meddle in, but I'm happy to state that mine has been virtually meddle-free for almost a year. Or maybe not, but at the very least I haven't been paying attention. This journal really has no "dirt" perse, but when you're a target, hell, even writing about going out for a cheeseburger is dangerous territory.

Anyway, if you'd like to be added, let me know, and if you're not a mental patient, I'll be happy to oblige. XOXO

Today was a pretty nutritionally balanced day. Worked. Rented a movie. Played piano and wrote a new song. Got new STT cd in the mail. Ran 3 miles. Went out for a drink. Had movie sex. Now going to sleep! :)

Hungry

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Fri, 12 May 2006 23:28:27 GMT

I'm really hungry right now and slightly irritable.

Embo graduates from college tomorrow. My how the time flies.

I hope my weekend is decent.

I've forgotten how to write a captivating journal entry, or really just a journal entry in general.

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Wed, 28 Dec 2005 21:53:44 GMT

What's going on New Year's eve? I need a wealth of events to sift through.

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 23:43:16 GMT

Who let Puddy out? Jerkface.

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Thu, 13 Oct 2005 22:41:02 GMT

I love Christmas. Love it. It's coming!

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Mon, 19 Sep 2005 03:00:38 GMT

Milk and oranges. Milk and oranges. Good for you!

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Thu, 15 Sep 2005 20:28:25 GMT

I cleaned our bathroom. This is a bigger deal than it seems.

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Tue, 30 Aug 2005 00:00:25 GMT

please somebody take me out for sushi. I'm dying. I'm really really dying...........

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Sun, 21 Aug 2005 00:54:39 GMT

No internet access at home right now because my roommate/s suck and won't reset the "hub", whatever the fuck that means. I don't understand what the hold up is, but this shit is pissing me off. Ugh. So, I'd love to communicate with you guys, but it might be a few more days. Sorry.

L

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Mon, 01 Aug 2005 17:51:09 GMT

All I love is music.

And some people.

Fin.

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Wed, 06 Jul 2005 00:56:17 GMT

I'm a financial wreck. It's pretty fucking depressing. I would almost kill for 10 dollars right now.

Oh the hilarity.

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Tue, 21 Jun 2005 06:29:41 GMT

A journal. A log. A Diary. Documented nonsense. What have you. Here it is. Stretching back to mid 2003. And I've got MicrochipGirl stretching back even furthur. Want more? There's Datura22. Jesus. It's funny how many crushes one can have in their early to mid twenties. I seem to have had my share, and I seem to have embellished every last one. It's fun/funny to look back at all that perfectly and piningly padded angst. It's also comforting to say what should be said without having to pose a million and two questions with the intention (I can only surmise at this stage in my life) of convincing myself that I could turn every pretty boy into the perfect thing. Don't get me wrong -- the questions were fun. There's a certain charm in guessing and wishing and cyncicism combined with outright hypocritical love-lust, but it just can't compete with wisdom. I'd like to be able to say I'm not embarrassed by anything I've ever written or felt, but that's impossible. I can, however, say that there is only vague embarassment at the notion of feeling embarassment. I'd laugh if it weren't so terribly humiliating.

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Fri, 03 Jun 2005 13:19:53 GMT

I adore him.

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Wed, 04 May 2005 00:48:26 GMT

I've got:

A new Scarface poster featuring Al Pacino in the bathtub.
Scott Joplin's complete piano works on cd (4 of them!)
A T-shirt that says "Romania Romania Romania" on it.
A tummy full of Mary Angelas.
Tickets to see Bob Saget at the comedy club later in May (ok, well, I don't have these yet, but I'm going to try my damndest.)
A new lightbulb for my fiberoptic tree compliments of the sweetest guy on the entire planet.
A band that I love.
A job I don't hate.
Girlfriends waiting for me to show up.

Everything else, well, those entries are PRIVATE people!

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Thu, 24 Mar 2005 22:26:23 GMT

"If merely ''feeling good'' could decide, drunkenness would be the supremely valid human experience." - William James.

I am afraid. Was disappointed, but now I'm just kind of shaky. He's drinking again. And of course I shouldn't care, because nobody else seems to really, but it affects everything. His sobriety was the only thing that slipped out of his lying lips that I truly believed. I could say "He's this and this and this, but at least he's sober now", and now I don't even have that peace of mind. The lock broke off my door and now I live with an alcoholic experiencing a fresh relapse into drinking, and one who considers me the most wicked woman alive at that. So yeah, I'm a little nervous right now. I really didn't expect this. Why the FUCK can't he have a single fucking friend who actually wants to HELP him? Why does unhealthy regression make everyone feel so fucking comfortable? Well, I'm not comfortable. I'm scared shitless. I was fine with a fear-free loathing. Now I'm just worried. About everything. Me mostly, and him leastly, but still a little, because no matter how much you despise someone, it's still heart-breaking to watch them throw another good thing away.

Fuck this.

Brace yourselves Amigos!

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Sat, 19 Mar 2005 07:48:54 GMT

Maybe this hits a little closer to home...

Bill - "Ted, you and I have witnessed many things, but nothing as bodacious as what just happened. Besides, we told ourselves to listen to this guy."

Ted - "What if we were lying?"

Bill- "Why would we lie to ourselves?"

And then still...

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Fri, 18 Mar 2005 06:06:14 GMT

"Most of our faults are more pardonable than the means we use to conceal them."
— François duc de la Rochefoucauld, French epigrammatist (1613-1680)

And then...

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Fri, 18 Mar 2005 06:03:22 GMT

"Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space."
— Diana Black

We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves. (Eric Hoffer, philosopher)

suicidetryst@yahoo.com — Fri, 18 Mar 2005 05:30:59 GMT

For my special friends,
------------------------------

William Shakespeare (1564–1616)

Like one

Who having into truth, by telling of it,

Made such a sinner of his memory,

To credit his own lie.

The Tempest. Act i. Sc. 2.
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Diogenes Laërtius (fl. early 3d cent.)

Solon gave the following advice: “Consider your honour, as a gentleman, of more weight than an oath. Never tell a lie. Pay attention to matters of importance.”

Solon. xii.
-----------------------------
George Herbert (1593–1633)

Dare to be true: nothing can need a lie;

A fault which needs it most, grows two thereby.

The Church Porch.
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Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809–1894)

Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.

The Autocrat of the Breakfast-Table. vi.
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Sophocles (c. 496 B.C.–406 B.C.)

A lie never lives to be old.

Acrisius. Frag. 59.
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A lie will easily get you out of a scrape, and yet, strangely and beautifully, rapture possesses you when you have taken the scrape and left out the lie.

C.E. (Charles Edward) Montague (1867–1928), British author, journalist. Disenchantment, ch. 15, sect. 4 (1922).
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Pain forces even the innocent to lie.

Publilius Syrus (1st century B.C.), Roman writer of mimes. Sententiae, no. 171.

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